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September 30, 2008 10:16 AM
These are a few highlights from this week's edition of "The Homers." Follow the link to enjoy the dellusions in their entirety:
Homer #1: E-Dubs
FIRE TOMMY BOWDEN NOW!
Clemson was out-coached in the second half by a lesser Maryland team, and now, the ACC title could be out of the window.
Homer #4: Beef & Charlie Chalupa
So the Maryland Terps, the same team that lost to Middle Tennessee State Tech University College, went down south and pulled out a big win against Clemson.
Homer #5: Krystal
As my lovely friend Benny from VT stated, UNC had Miami’s number. Maybe it’s because of Butch Davis. Maybe it’s because UNC got lucky. Or maybe it’s because Miami is so young and mentally unprepared that when they went up two TDs in the 1st, they thought they could start playing down to the opponent’s level and lose a game that was handed to you!!
Homer #6: Ned Ryerson
Going into this week things looked really bleak for the Heels. Like, my retirement fund is wholly based in Wachovia and Lehman stock bleak.
Homer #8: 46 East
There's no coming back from getting smashed by Duke. I do not care who their new coach is, Duke is Duke. I would rather get smashed by Middle Tennessee State. Most of the time, getting smashed leads to a walk of shame that sympathetically ends after about 20 minutes, hopefully with no one seeing you. Getting smashed by Duke leads to a walk of shame that lasts for weeks, if not years, and takes you through the town square past every one of your friends.
Bernie "Benny" Lomax
Homer #9: Benny-Who!?!??
Most of my analysis was not created in Lincoln, but when I returned home and watched the game on DVR. I was Bernie Lomax in a Sea of Red. I was far too excited about going to my first game in almost 2 years to realize that there was a game to be enjoyed. Virtually no pictures were taken. Those that were are of me doing David Lee Roth-style leg kicks and taking pictures with defeated Cornholes, most of them blurred beyond recognition.
Homer #10: Erik the Red
The painful fall back to reality was … well … painful, for no. 16 Wake Forest in its loss to Navy this past weekend. Don't get me wrong, the service academies are usually assumed losses and all. Navy did take Towson out to the woodshed earlier this season and has only suffered "good losses" to football powerhouses Ball State and Duke.
Continue reading this post...
FIRE TOMMY BOWDEN NOW!
Clemson was out-coached in the second half by a lesser Maryland team, and now, the ACC title could be out of the window.
So the Maryland Terps, the same team that lost to Middle Tennessee State Tech University College, went down south and pulled out a big win against Clemson.
As my lovely friend Benny from VT stated, UNC had Miami’s number. Maybe it’s because of Butch Davis. Maybe it’s because UNC got lucky. Or maybe it’s because Miami is so young and mentally unprepared that when they went up two TDs in the 1st, they thought they could start playing down to the opponent’s level and lose a game that was handed to you!!
Going into this week things looked really bleak for the Heels. Like, my retirement fund is wholly based in Wachovia and Lehman stock bleak.
There's no coming back from getting smashed by Duke. I do not care who their new coach is, Duke is Duke. I would rather get smashed by Middle Tennessee State. Most of the time, getting smashed leads to a walk of shame that sympathetically ends after about 20 minutes, hopefully with no one seeing you. Getting smashed by Duke leads to a walk of shame that lasts for weeks, if not years, and takes you through the town square past every one of your friends.
Bernie "Benny" Lomax
Most of my analysis was not created in Lincoln, but when I returned home and watched the game on DVR. I was Bernie Lomax in a Sea of Red. I was far too excited about going to my first game in almost 2 years to realize that there was a game to be enjoyed. Virtually no pictures were taken. Those that were are of me doing David Lee Roth-style leg kicks and taking pictures with defeated Cornholes, most of them blurred beyond recognition.
The painful fall back to reality was … well … painful, for no. 16 Wake Forest in its loss to Navy this past weekend. Don't get me wrong, the service academies are usually assumed losses and all. Navy did take Towson out to the woodshed earlier this season and has only suffered "good losses" to football powerhouses Ball State and Duke.
Continue reading this post...
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September 29, 2008 11:14 AM
Lots of teams lose by 28 points to Duke…basketball teams.
However, what happened in Durham on Saturday afternoon was a good thing. Sure, it’s a complete embarrassment, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s what needed to happen.
Mediocre programs don’t fire coaches for losing four, five, or even seven games in a year. They chalk the season up to re-building, extend the coach’s contract another year or two, raise ticket prices, and repeat the process twelve months later. Don’t think that gets frustrating after a while? Talk to a Clemson fan.
Lose ten or eleven games, though, and even mediocre programs have to consider making a change. That said I have no interest in watching my team dig the Grohs’ graves, so I played golf on Saturday. Drinking Bud-fats and torching the back nine at Richmond Country Club was way better than watching the Hoos lose their third game by at least four touchdowns.
Continue reading this post...
However, what happened in Durham on Saturday afternoon was a good thing. Sure, it’s a complete embarrassment, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s what needed to happen.
Mediocre programs don’t fire coaches for losing four, five, or even seven games in a year. They chalk the season up to re-building, extend the coach’s contract another year or two, raise ticket prices, and repeat the process twelve months later. Don’t think that gets frustrating after a while? Talk to a Clemson fan.
Lose ten or eleven games, though, and even mediocre programs have to consider making a change. That said I have no interest in watching my team dig the Grohs’ graves, so I played golf on Saturday. Drinking Bud-fats and torching the back nine at Richmond Country Club was way better than watching the Hoos lose their third game by at least four touchdowns.
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Posted in
September 26, 2008 3:19 PM
Tomorrow marks the official end to an intense wedding season.
Wedding number 9 of 9 co-stars one of my fellow Douglas Freeman alumni, which means that a contingency of my high school friends are descending on the ‘Mond as I edit this post. This group of dudes is over 10 strong and may be found at various drinking establishments on and around Robinson Street in approximately three hours.
Benny Who!?!! will be in the middle of all that red.
We are far from a rag-tag crew, but it’s still amazing to me how many of us have been able to convince attractive women to hang out with us full-time (note: 5 of 9 weddings have been my high school friends). This is especially true after said women have been introduced to other members of our group. I’m not kidding. If it were kosher for me to discuss some of the more memorable highlights from earlier stops this wedding season, you would be shocked these ladies put up with us too.
Regardless of why they stick by us, they do…my wife included. And I am more thankful for that than usual this weekend. Why you ask? Because this weekend Virginia Tech visits Lincoln, NE, home of the Cornhuskers, or as it is better known in my house, my father-in-law’s hometown.
Which means, by the transitive property of family fanhood, I am more than just the bitter Hoos fan I normally am rooting against the Hokies this weekend. I am a full-fledged adopted Huskers fan! Go Big Red!
Wedding number 9 of 9 co-stars one of my fellow Douglas Freeman alumni, which means that a contingency of my high school friends are descending on the ‘Mond as I edit this post. This group of dudes is over 10 strong and may be found at various drinking establishments on and around Robinson Street in approximately three hours.
Benny Who!?!! will be in the middle of all that red.
Regardless of why they stick by us, they do…my wife included. And I am more thankful for that than usual this weekend. Why you ask? Because this weekend Virginia Tech visits Lincoln, NE, home of the Cornhuskers, or as it is better known in my house, my father-in-law’s hometown.
Which means, by the transitive property of family fanhood, I am more than just the bitter Hoos fan I normally am rooting against the Hokies this weekend. I am a full-fledged adopted Huskers fan! Go Big Red!
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September 26, 2008 9:14 AM
by Dr. Tom, Fantasy M.D.
A weekly Rx for Fantasy ailments.
Coming back for 4?
So I got a few picks wrong last week, but I’m getting back on the horse. In fact, my worst fantasy blunder of the week didn’t occur on this fabulous blog, no it occurred in my girlfriend’s apartment. Yes, Head Nurse Girlfriend (not to be confused with Dr. Girlfriend from the Venture Bros. despite villainously stealing every guy I wanted in our 14-team league draft) had a conundrum. All Day Peterson was nicked and it was possible since we include return yards that Chester Cheetah Taylor was due for an outbreak. So after a bit of pandering and analyzing I got Head Nurse Girlfriend to start Chester Taylor thinking to myself, “What a genius you are, Dr. Tom. Convincing her to bench Ronnie Brown of the lowly Aquatic Mammals of Miami against Darth Bill and his band of Boston Americans.” Then the strangest thing happened, Ronnie Brown turned into Darren McFadden in his Arkansas heydays and has a bajillion point (we use a generous scoring system) fantasy output. So whomever feels burned over Kevin Smith remember at least in this column I didn’t say bench Ronnie Brown.
Glad to see you back, open up and say “Thank you Dr. Tom.”
J.T. O’Sullivan – He had more modest success last week than I was expecting but since the Mannings are on bye and he’s playing the Saints (29th worst against the pass) I think JTO’s productive easily amassing typical career Eli #’s or current Peyton #’s. Look for 250+ yrds. and 2 TDs in this shootout.
Carson Palmer– Carson had a decent day against the Giants deciding not to throw to their secondary and remembering that T.J. Houshmanzadeh is a total stud (Head Nurse Girlfriend started Lee Evans over T.J. last week on her own accord). The Browns are to defensive football what the New York Mets are to defensive football. They have had no pass rush to speak of and I think you see Palmer as a safer starter from here on out.
Jason Campbell– If you’ve watched the Cowboys lately you and know about Jason Taylor’s emergency surgery on his calf then you probably realize that the Redskins are going to have to put points on the board to win in Dallas. That said, I expect that the Redskins will get behind and Campbell will have to try to exploit a Dallas secondary that hasn’t played to its superstar at every position expectation. The interesting match-up here is Santana Moss v. Terrence Newman or Adam Pacman Jones. If you lose points for sacks and you some how have O’Sullivan or Palmer and Campbell start the other two because Dallas is getting to QBs lately.
Continue reading this post...
A weekly Rx for Fantasy ailments.
Coming back for 4?
So I got a few picks wrong last week, but I’m getting back on the horse. In fact, my worst fantasy blunder of the week didn’t occur on this fabulous blog, no it occurred in my girlfriend’s apartment. Yes, Head Nurse Girlfriend (not to be confused with Dr. Girlfriend from the Venture Bros. despite villainously stealing every guy I wanted in our 14-team league draft) had a conundrum. All Day Peterson was nicked and it was possible since we include return yards that Chester Cheetah Taylor was due for an outbreak. So after a bit of pandering and analyzing I got Head Nurse Girlfriend to start Chester Taylor thinking to myself, “What a genius you are, Dr. Tom. Convincing her to bench Ronnie Brown of the lowly Aquatic Mammals of Miami against Darth Bill and his band of Boston Americans.” Then the strangest thing happened, Ronnie Brown turned into Darren McFadden in his Arkansas heydays and has a bajillion point (we use a generous scoring system) fantasy output. So whomever feels burned over Kevin Smith remember at least in this column I didn’t say bench Ronnie Brown.
Glad to see you back, open up and say “Thank you Dr. Tom.”
WEEK FOUR STARTERS:
QB:J.T. O’Sullivan – He had more modest success last week than I was expecting but since the Mannings are on bye and he’s playing the Saints (29th worst against the pass) I think JTO’s productive easily amassing typical career Eli #’s or current Peyton #’s. Look for 250+ yrds. and 2 TDs in this shootout.
Carson Palmer– Carson had a decent day against the Giants deciding not to throw to their secondary and remembering that T.J. Houshmanzadeh is a total stud (Head Nurse Girlfriend started Lee Evans over T.J. last week on her own accord). The Browns are to defensive football what the New York Mets are to defensive football. They have had no pass rush to speak of and I think you see Palmer as a safer starter from here on out.
Jason Campbell– If you’ve watched the Cowboys lately you and know about Jason Taylor’s emergency surgery on his calf then you probably realize that the Redskins are going to have to put points on the board to win in Dallas. That said, I expect that the Redskins will get behind and Campbell will have to try to exploit a Dallas secondary that hasn’t played to its superstar at every position expectation. The interesting match-up here is Santana Moss v. Terrence Newman or Adam Pacman Jones. If you lose points for sacks and you some how have O’Sullivan or Palmer and Campbell start the other two because Dallas is getting to QBs lately.
Continue reading this post...
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September 25, 2008 2:00 PM
Obviously, this immediately brought Kevin Malone to mind and reminded me that the second best show on television, the Office, returns tonight (note: the best show, 30 Rock, is back Oct. 30th). With apologies to USC and Peter Lalich’s future school, the hour long premier will take precedence on my TV.
But regardless of whether I’m watching, the Trojans will still cover as they now have to put up major style points in order to overcome their pathetic conference if they hope to make it to Miami for the national championship. My picks are as follows (home teams in caps):
ACC
South Florida (-9) over NC STATE
Navy (+16) over WAKE FOREST
Maryland (+11) over CLEMSON
Virginia (+7) over DUKE
MIAMI (-8) over North Carolina
BOSTON COLLEGE (off) over Rhode Island
Florida St (-6) over COLORADO
NEBRASKA (-7) over Virginia Tech
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September 25, 2008 11:00 AM
From last Friday's weekly "Schools & Recreation Spotlight" (this video scores extremely high on the unintentional comedy scale):
He's No. 1 in the points standings for the northeast region of the American Racing Mower Association (ARMA).
So what's the reaction when Balderson informs old softball chums and Atlee faculty members about his grass-roots hobby?
"It's like, 'You what?' . . . Most people think it's real red-necky," he said with a laugh.
Pride of Virginia Tech: Balderson is a Lee-Davis High and Virginia Tech graduate -- and proud of it.
Two of his three mowers are painted in Hokies orange, with maroon flames jutting down the sides.
"Two of them are flat-out Hokie machines," he said.
He's No. 1 in the points standings for the northeast region of the American Racing Mower Association (ARMA).
So what's the reaction when Balderson informs old softball chums and Atlee faculty members about his grass-roots hobby?
"It's like, 'You what?' . . . Most people think it's real red-necky," he said with a laugh.
Pride of Virginia Tech: Balderson is a Lee-Davis High and Virginia Tech graduate -- and proud of it.
Two of his three mowers are painted in Hokies orange, with maroon flames jutting down the sides.
"Two of them are flat-out Hokie machines," he said.
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Posted in
September 24, 2008 8:48 AM
The Daily Progress is reporting that Peter Lalich is approaching completion of a transfer to Oregon State.
No place like the Pacific Northwest for a guy who was kicked off the football team for being seen all over Facebook smoking illegal substances!
No place like the Pacific Northwest for a guy who was kicked off the football team for being seen all over Facebook smoking illegal substances!
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Posted in
September 24, 2008 7:38 AM
Like most businesses, the Virginia athletics department conducts annual reviews with it's employees. The general thought is that an organization paying in access of $1.8 million for certain services should require a justifiable return on that investment.
So, to assist Craig Littlepage's preparations for the December 1st (note: the season ends in Blacksburg on Nov. 29th) sit down with Coach Groh, the Bald Spot is organizing what I believe to be pertinent information.
The intent is not to provide an indictment of Al Groh. In fact, I have personally defended him for years. I’ve commiserated the loss of Bill Musgrave, Al Golden, Ron Prince, and most recently, Mike London (who’s Spiders just took the top FCS spot). I understand the limitations placed on the program by uncooperative university administrators and above average academic requirements.
But regardless of coaching changes and peripheral challenges, what ultimately matters is on field performance, and that is where numbers come in. And I can't make this stuff up:
Continue reading this post...
So, to assist Craig Littlepage's preparations for the December 1st (note: the season ends in Blacksburg on Nov. 29th) sit down with Coach Groh, the Bald Spot is organizing what I believe to be pertinent information.
The intent is not to provide an indictment of Al Groh. In fact, I have personally defended him for years. I’ve commiserated the loss of Bill Musgrave, Al Golden, Ron Prince, and most recently, Mike London (who’s Spiders just took the top FCS spot). I understand the limitations placed on the program by uncooperative university administrators and above average academic requirements.
But regardless of coaching changes and peripheral challenges, what ultimately matters is on field performance, and that is where numbers come in. And I can't make this stuff up:
- Wins & Losses
2001 – 5-7
2002 – 9-5 (ACC COY)
2003 – 8-5
2004 – 8-4
2005 – 7-5
2006 – 5-7
2007 – 9-4 (ACC COY)
2008 (thru 9/20) 1-2
Overall – 52-39
Home – 35-10
Road – 14-27
Bowls – 3-2
Vs. VT – 1-6
Road wins (chronological order): Clemson, Wake, Duke, Western Michigan, UNC, Temple, Duke, GT, Syracuse, Duke, UNC, Middle Tenn St, Maryland, Miami
Continue reading this post...
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Posted in
September 23, 2008 3:24 PM
It's official. The Hoos are getting 6 1/2 at Duke this weekend. I don't even know what to say.
Unfortunately, things are only going to get worse.
Unfortunately, things are only going to get worse.
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Posted in
September 23, 2008 12:39 PM
These are a few highlights from this week's edition of "The Homers." Follow the link to enjoy the dellusions in their entirety:
Homer #1: E-Dubs
Clemson played SC State last week, who cares what happened.
Homer #2: Moncrieffe
Oh FSU, how do you disappoint me? Let me count the ways:
1. Start the season 2-0, looking great (against losers)
2. Lose to an opponent marginally, if at all, better than you in week 3
3. Commit 7 turnovers in 1 game
4. Commit 12 penalties for 139 yards
5. 2 QBs combine to go 12-for-36 for 118 yd, 5 Ints, 0 TDs
Homer #3: Benz
The Bulldogs came in to Bobby Dodd stadium with the latest SEC Coach of the Year and the current SEC's strongest defense. A game before their edge-of-your-seat 3-2 Auburn match-up, the MSU Bulldogs lost to Louisiana Tech, who has former GT QB Taylor Bennett. Bennett road the pine for 2 years behind Reggie Ball (yes, that Reggie Ball). Tech put up 500 yards against MSU, a middle SEC team (yes, that SEC).
Homer #4: Beef & Charlie Chalupa
Darrius Heyward-Bey = the sexy. If we were an NFL general manager, Heyward-Bey is the top wide receiver on our draft board. He runs a 4.23 (true). His hands are like glue (fact). His vertical is 60 inches (slight exaggeration). His dong is the size of a baseball bat (a hunch). He is 6-3, 210lbs (6-5, 250 in real life). We heard he can bench the Fridge...18 reps (false - no one can bench the Fridge). He poops little gold nuggets (probably true). He has never murdered anyone important (intentionally). Dayday once threw a pass 75 yards in the air, caught it, juked 5 defenders with one move, lateraled to himself and then moonwalked into the endzone (he also threw a mean cut block on a D-end).
Homer #5: Krystal
After a tough loss to the Gators a couple weeks ago, I was mentally preparing myself for another disappointing season. I had the tissues in one hand and a handle in the other. And after A&M scored on the opening play and it seemed the D had missed the plane from Miami, my disappointment grew.
But Randy Shannon had me and the rest of the country fooled. On the next possession, Miami proved they could even hang with a school that hasn’t done anything significant in recent memory. 7 quick points on a Graig Cooper touchdown, and Miami was ready to play some ball.
Homer #6: Ned Ryerson
Midway through the 3rd quarter of the Carolina-VA Tech game, we were going to the ACC championship game in Tampa. We were up 17-3 and fairly ineffective running back Greg Little had just ripped off a 50 yard TD run. We were good again. We were back to the #7 in the country, thumping VA Tech in the Gator Bowl, Mac Brown days of good Carolina football.
Then the sky caved in.
Homer #7: The Steve Smith
I'm not one to say, "I told you so"... no really, I told you. I told ALL of you. The Wolfpack did exactly what I said they would need to do to win the game. Steady improvement in the passing game. Check. Positive contributions from the kicking game. Check. Continue to play solid defense. Check. Beat ECU. Check. Go look at last week's rant.
Homer #9: Benny-Who!?!??
In other news, I ran into Eddie Royal and Carlton Powell, VT products now with the Broncos the Monday after the Furman game. I stopped to talk shop with them and asked about the ECU game. As he shook his head in disgust, Eddie's exact words were, "Man, that place just ain't the same no mo'."
Homer #10: Erik the Red
Everyone knows the most overrated play in the history of football. That's right folks … the touchdown. That's why the Demon Deacons saw fit not to bore the fans on Saturday. By simply squandering every feasible opportunity they had of scoring six, the Deacs managed to escape Tallahassee with a 12-3 win, all while paying homage to baseball scores everywhere. I mean, what's sexier than scoring your points in groups of three.
Continue reading this post...
Clemson played SC State last week, who cares what happened.
Oh FSU, how do you disappoint me? Let me count the ways:
1. Start the season 2-0, looking great (against losers)
2. Lose to an opponent marginally, if at all, better than you in week 3
3. Commit 7 turnovers in 1 game
4. Commit 12 penalties for 139 yards
5. 2 QBs combine to go 12-for-36 for 118 yd, 5 Ints, 0 TDs
The Bulldogs came in to Bobby Dodd stadium with the latest SEC Coach of the Year and the current SEC's strongest defense. A game before their edge-of-your-seat 3-2 Auburn match-up, the MSU Bulldogs lost to Louisiana Tech, who has former GT QB Taylor Bennett. Bennett road the pine for 2 years behind Reggie Ball (yes, that Reggie Ball). Tech put up 500 yards against MSU, a middle SEC team (yes, that SEC).
Darrius Heyward-Bey = the sexy. If we were an NFL general manager, Heyward-Bey is the top wide receiver on our draft board. He runs a 4.23 (true). His hands are like glue (fact). His vertical is 60 inches (slight exaggeration). His dong is the size of a baseball bat (a hunch). He is 6-3, 210lbs (6-5, 250 in real life). We heard he can bench the Fridge...18 reps (false - no one can bench the Fridge). He poops little gold nuggets (probably true). He has never murdered anyone important (intentionally). Dayday once threw a pass 75 yards in the air, caught it, juked 5 defenders with one move, lateraled to himself and then moonwalked into the endzone (he also threw a mean cut block on a D-end).
After a tough loss to the Gators a couple weeks ago, I was mentally preparing myself for another disappointing season. I had the tissues in one hand and a handle in the other. And after A&M scored on the opening play and it seemed the D had missed the plane from Miami, my disappointment grew.
But Randy Shannon had me and the rest of the country fooled. On the next possession, Miami proved they could even hang with a school that hasn’t done anything significant in recent memory. 7 quick points on a Graig Cooper touchdown, and Miami was ready to play some ball.
Midway through the 3rd quarter of the Carolina-VA Tech game, we were going to the ACC championship game in Tampa. We were up 17-3 and fairly ineffective running back Greg Little had just ripped off a 50 yard TD run. We were good again. We were back to the #7 in the country, thumping VA Tech in the Gator Bowl, Mac Brown days of good Carolina football.
Then the sky caved in.
I'm not one to say, "I told you so"... no really, I told you. I told ALL of you. The Wolfpack did exactly what I said they would need to do to win the game. Steady improvement in the passing game. Check. Positive contributions from the kicking game. Check. Continue to play solid defense. Check. Beat ECU. Check. Go look at last week's rant.
In other news, I ran into Eddie Royal and Carlton Powell, VT products now with the Broncos the Monday after the Furman game. I stopped to talk shop with them and asked about the ECU game. As he shook his head in disgust, Eddie's exact words were, "Man, that place just ain't the same no mo'."
Everyone knows the most overrated play in the history of football. That's right folks … the touchdown. That's why the Demon Deacons saw fit not to bore the fans on Saturday. By simply squandering every feasible opportunity they had of scoring six, the Deacs managed to escape Tallahassee with a 12-3 win, all while paying homage to baseball scores everywhere. I mean, what's sexier than scoring your points in groups of three.
Continue reading this post...
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