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Posted by Dr. Tom, Fantasy M.D.

A weekly Rx for Fantasy ailments.

Cruelty, her name is Fantasy Football.

This is an official apology to all owners who drafted in the top-5. Steven Jackson, who may have fallen out of your top 5, is arguably the best pick out of Tomlinson, Westbrook, Jackson, Peterson and Addai. Peterson owners could argue, but that was the worst 111 yd performance in the history of the NFL. I have to give a shout out to my main squeeze Head Nurse Girlfriend for passing on Addai at 5 and taking Marion Barber III, which is paying huge dividends.

Rivalry Game Revisited:

Despite the best efforts from Braylon Edwards and Devin Hester, I did lose my bitter rivalry game by 4 points. Fantasy lady luck was not on my side as a player. As a fantasy M.D., however it was a banner week. Huge output from Thomas Jones, all QBs accounted for 2+ TDs and Devin Hester and Bernard Berrian (who is upgraded to an every week play) made my conscience clear when I saw the two-TD game from Harrison and three from Manning. Hate to say I told you so, but Addai had a crap game and is now injured (Dominic Rhodes is a must-add. See below).

On to listamania!

WEEK SEVEN STARTERS:

QB:

Kyle Orton – The Bears might have saved their franchise with Orton and Forte. This team sucked last year but is looking like the favorite in the NFC North despite the Vikings somehow winning games they shouldn’t be. Orton has built great rapport with Devin Hester, and they are becoming a generic brand Jake Delhomme and Steve Smith. Start Orton with confidence as he faces the Vikes and their uneven secondary.

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Fall break of my fourth-year, a group of friends and I drove to Oakley’s Farm in Spotsylvania County for the first Haymaker Music Festival. We camped out, listened to music, drank Beast Light, and ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches.

Bruce Hornsby and Steve Kimock were at the top of the bill Saturday night. Their opening act was a group no one in the crowd had heard of called Robert Randolph & the Family Band.

Just as the sun was setting, a young man sauntered onstage wearing a Kobe Bryant jersey and a fedora. He sat down in front of a pedal steel and unleashed his high energy blend of soul, gospel, and blues.

I have loved Robert Randolph ever since.

A lot of words come to mind when thinking about Robert such as virtuoso, filthy, blessed by God…splits the uprights?

That’s right folks, Robert Randolph will be making his placekicking debut this weekend. Only difference is that this Robert Randolph is 5’10’’ 160 lbs from Naples, FL and will not be blazing Charlottesville Pavilion on Halloween (although, I do find the prominent role feet play in both RR's lives a bit odd).

It was announced last night that everyone’s favorite Deutschlander, Yannick Reyering, will not play tomorrow, which means that the freshman with a name people will never associate with him first could be the deciding factor in the 113th contesting of the Oldest Rivarly in the South.

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This is shaping up to be the most interesting weekend of ACC football thus far. Put another way, it should be much more exciting than watching grass grow but still a few notches below watching paint dry and miles shy of watching water boil.

I will be in C-ville Saturday for “the South’s oldest rivalry.” The Hoos have taken 8 of the last 10, and Brandon Tate ripped his knee up last weekend. However, this one very well may come down to coaching. In which case, UVA is screwed (I miss John Bunting).

The match-up of the second highest and the lowest scoring offenses in the conference would suggest this game won’t be close, but with Tate out, the game plan gets much simpler.

Week 8 picks after the jump.

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I’m not positive what “leg-strength tests” entail, but I’m pretty sure it involves these three guys attempting to kick through six blocks of ice before Colt Brennan gives CP-26 3-1 on Ryan Plackemeier and further straightens Portis’ pockets (a la Mr. Miyagi) with the rook’s cash.

At least, I hope that’s what is involved because if our own Michael Phillips is to be believed, the strength test is one of only two requirements for making an NFL roster (the other being: “punting a football three times as far as you can”). Oh…and for the effort, you get a two year contract that rewards very little effort with very much money.

This only strengthens my resolve to have my future son kicking through ice blocks by age 4.

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These are a few highlights from this week's edition of "The Homers." Follow the link to enjoy the dellusions in their entirety:

Homer #1: E-Dubs

Goodbye Bowden!


Homer #5: Krystal

If you turned on the TV to catch up on football scores you might have thought Miami was playing a decent team based on the10-7 halftime score, but no. Miami was playing UCF.

Homer #6: Ned Ryerson

Now a game at Virginia that looked really easy just a couple days ago looks downright frightening. They have turned it around and we don't have our two most important offensive players. You know what, I'm not worried. Not even a little. I think we roll on to 6-1 and become bowl eligible before Halloween. Awesome. Suck it Wahoos.

Homer #8: 46 East

Another victory would catapult the Hoos to the precipice of a 6-6 season and a possible berth in the Emerald Bowl! (Note: the Emerald Bowl is played in San Francisco and pits the ACC #7 team against the PAC-10 #6 team. If the Hoos win, we better sign up for tickets fast. Like immediately.) A loss and the rest of the schedule becomes that much tougher, and maybe 4-8 is the finish. The suspense is killing me.

Homer #10: Erik the Red

Thursday night's game was the type of game that everyone circles on the schedule a month before the season kickoffs. Wake and Clemson were supposed to arrive ranked and ready to do battle for the top spot in the Atlantic division. Nothing like both teams falling flat on their faces in the game leading into this marquee "showdown" to really deflate the mood.

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A week from now, the Hoos (yes, the same team that lost by four TDs to Duke two weeks ago) could be tied for the Coastal Division lead. Whether this is a good or a bad thing for the long-term success of the program is debatable, but the fact that it could actually happen is a testament to the amazingly balanced mediocrity of all ACC teams.

If Al is able to steer the Hoos by the Heels, they will be 2-1 in the ACC, which would be good enough for a first place tie if BC handles VT in Chestnut Hill and Bowden-less Clemson takes down GT in Death Valley.

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The first ACC coach to lose his job this year was not named Groh...

And it will only cost the Clemp a smooth $2.5 million.

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Jim Zorn brings old school cool to D.C.

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posted by James Carlson & Brian Bald

We all know about how influential the Redskins are on election results, but there seems to be a lesser publicized correlation between the 3rd best team in the NFL and our country’s crap ass economic outlook.

Let’s go to the most trusted name in plagiarizing term papers and see how Main Street (pause while I puke) was holding up when the confetti has rained on Independence Ave:

1937 (Skins 9 – 3)

The Recession of 1937 was a sharp economic downturn in the United States in 1937-38. It was part of the Great Depression in the United States, and had serious political results. Economic historians have not agreed on the causes, but many of the causes show that because the New Deal involved spending money from the Federal budget, President Roosevelt had to end New Deal spending, and thus programs, as a result. While FDR was sorting that out, a legend arrived in the Capital.

Sammy Baugh entered the league with his new-fangled forward pass, which accounted for 3 TD’s in a 28 – 21 victory over the Bears in the NFL Championship Game.

1942 (Skins 10 – 1)

Across the pond, Hitler was pretty out of control by this point. World War II had been in full swing for 3 years, and Pearl Harbor brought the U.S. off the sidelines in December 1941. On this side of the Atlantic, the Skins were pissed (at the Bears…although, I’m sure Hitler and the Japanese Air Force weren’t very popular either).

George Preston Marshall used the humiliation of a 73 – 0 beat down by the Bears in the 1940 Championship as a rallying point, and the Redskins upset the Bears to spoil their try for a perfect season, 14–6.

Note: While there was no specific recession to point to, it was a frigin’ global conflict for God sakes. I don’t think we can exactly count this as a moment of prosperity for anyone outside Griffith Stadium.

1982 (Skins 12 – 1: strike-shortened)

The early 1980’s recession was a severe recession in the United States which began in July 1981 and ended in November 1982 (note: approximately the length of the Redskins campaign that year). The primary cause of the recession was a contractionary monetary policy established by the Federal Reserve System to control high inflation. The recession was not only unexpected but was the most serious recession since the Great Depression (wait for it). Joe Thiesman didn’t care. Neither did Mark Mosely, NFL MVP.

The Redskins' first Super Bowl win, their first NFL Championship in 40 years, was in Super Bowl XVII, where the Redskins beat the Miami Dolphins 27-17 on January 30, 1983, in Pasadena, California. John Riggins provided the game's signature play when, on 4th and inches, with the Redskins down 17–13, the coaches called "70 Chip" a play designed for short yardage. Riggins instead gained 43 yards and the go-ahead touchdown. The image of Riggins running through would-be tackler Don McNeal has become one of the all-time Super Bowl highlights.

1987 (Skins 14 – 4)

On Black Monday of October 1987 (note: Skins 13 Boys 7 in Dallas MNF), a stock collapse of unprecedented size lopped 22.6 percent off the Dow Jones Industrial Average. The collapse, larger than that of 1929, was handled well by the economy and the stock market began to quickly recover. However the lumbering savings and loans (insert Keating 5 reference here) were beginning to collapse, putting the savings of millions of Americans in jeopardy. Doug Williams, Art Monk, and Gary Clark never got the memo.

The Redskins won their second championship in Super Bowl XXII on January 31, 1988, in San Diego, California. The Redskins routed the Denver Broncos 42-10 after falling behind 10–0 early in the first quarter. This was the largest come-from-behind victory in Super Bowl history.

1991 (Skins 17 – 2)

The recession of the early nineteen-nineties was an economic recession that hit much of the world in 1990-91 (like exactly the same length of the NFL season). The next several years’ high unemployment, massive government budgetary deficits, and slow Gross Domestic Product (GDP) growth affected the United States until late 1992. Not the skins, Rypien’s Starting Line-ups were flying off the shelves.

The Redskins won their most recent Super Bowl on January 26, 1992, in Super Bowl XXVI in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Redskins, the most dominant team in the NFL in the 1991 season, defeated the Buffalo Bills 37–24. Quarterback Mark Rypien was named the MVP.

2008 (Skins 4 – 1)

This is a bit of touchy subject at the present, but I think we can all agree that the world economy is in the toilet.

Not sure where our capitalist society is headed, but if the economy maintains course, I do know where the Zorn Stars are headed…Tampa.

Too bad no one will be able to afford to join them there.

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by Dr. Tom, Fantasy M.D.

A weekly Rx for Fantasy ailments.

The Rivalry Game

It has descended upon the Doctor. Since I began playing fantasy football I have had but one rival, Ron Snitrak. Rivalries can easily be born out of competitiveness, championships or forged in the fires of fierce real life divisional rival fans with dogmatic beliefs in their teams’ superiority. For the record, Ron is a Giants fan and I only know love for the Cowboys. My rivalry with Ron is the worst kind of rivalry, jilted trade-partners. Inevitably, in every trade some one gets hosed, and sometimes the hosee wins the war.

In desperate need of an RB2 with Peyton Manning and an ’06 Rex Grossman I managed to trade Grossman to Ron for upcoming stud Frank Gore. I had the lethal combination of SJax and Gore, no way could I lose…or so I thought. It all worked out at the beginning with Manning, Jackson and Gore, I narrowly defeated Ron by .05 of a point based off the “They are who we thought they were,” Grossman 6 turnover performance. I was definitely the fireman in this situation. I was riding first place, first round bye in the playoffs. Then disaster struck, after losing a winnable game I watched in fantasy horror as Ron marched towards the championship with Grossman averaging about 5 points a game. Since that .05 win, I have never beaten Ron. A steak that seems impossible to end this weekend. I write this with a heavy-heart and uneager anticipation of facing Tony Romo v. the Cards and All Day Peterson v. the lions (who I’m no longer capitalizing out of respect to other fine NFL franchises).

BTW sorry about Jonathan Stewart, I personally started him and faced DeAngelo Williams, it wasn’t a great weekend for my team. Hope yours was better. PS – Trade DeAngelo Williams now. Hopefully you did it on Tuesday.

But alas, we can’t save every patient. At the least, we must do no harm.

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