Brian Bald
Sep 23, 2008

This blog is dedicated to promoting the ideas of the unqualified and under-informed. With that in mind, “12 Angry Homers” is a weekly feature highlighting the rants and raves of a graduate from each of the 12 ACC schools (note: eventually…we are a few homers short at the moment) as their beloved teams make their way through the football & basketball seasons…

Homer #1: E-Dubs

Clemson played SC State last week, who cares what happened.

Our quarterback has a bad shoulder, and the entire starting left side of the o-line is out this week against Maryland. The visiting team has won this game the last three years running. Due to all the injuries on the front lines for Clemson I have my doubts about this game. Maybe we are reading into Maryland’s recent suceess, but I think this will be close only because Thunder and Lightning will not be able run through huge holes. I anticipate several screens and dump offs to get the ball out of the QB’s hands quickly. I have no idea what the line is in this game but I feel that taking the points would be wise. I got a feeling this game will come down to a field goal that will shrink my ***hole to the size of a decimal point. UM 23 The Clemp! 24

Homer #2: Moncrieffe

Oh FSU, how do you disappoint me? Let me count the ways:

1. Start the season 2-0, looking great (against losers)
2. Lose to an opponent marginally, if at all, better than you in week 3
3. Commit 7 turnovers in 1 game
4. Commit 12 penalties for 139 yards
5. 2 QBs combine to go 12-for-36 for 118 yd, 5 Ints, 0 TDs

On the positive side, Wake looked really suspect. I mean come on! We practically did everything we could to let Wake blow us out the water. Instead, they failed to even score a touchdown despite starting with the ball in FSU territory on 6 of their 15 possessions. Defense once again looked like they could not and would not be stopped. Offense once again looked like….I don’t even know what to compare those sorry pack of losers to.

My question now is what do we do? I mean Ponder and D’Vo are leaps and bounds more talented than Weatherford but Weatherford would have won that game. Do you go with talent that could possibly take you off the cliff or to the top of the mountain? Or do you go with the guy you know won’t take you off the cliff? Weatherford is consistent but not very talented, he wouldn’t have scored 69 against Western Carolina or 48 against Chattanooga but he also would not let this game fall into the rut it did.

I can tell you this, if Ponder and D’Vo wet themselves next week like they did this week, Weatherford will be right back in the driver’s seat, and I’ll welcome him with open arms.

Colorado is going to be test #2, and Miami being our first true away game of the season is looking like a pretty suspect way to move into the middle of the season. (God help us, please)

Homer #3: Benz

Nooners.  The hair of the dog in the Bloody Marys are a sure cure for the Virginia Polytechnic hangover.  What a disappointment that is coming to be.  Exacerbated by those awful redneck-red jerseys VPI has.  I think the hangover’s back.  Pour some more Beam in the bourbon, please.

The Yellow Jackets ran into, and threw over, the first of three bulldog teams scheduled this season.  Josh Nesbitt ran dead sprints 9 times totaling 147 yards.  He’s topped 100 yards in three of four games.  Combine him with 8 other starters running the ball on Saturday – 10 if you count reserves– and you’ve got a potent offense.

The Bulldogs came in to Bobby Dodd stadium with the latest SEC Coach of the Year and the current SEC’s strongest defense.  A game before their edge-of-your-seat 3-2 Auburn match-up, the MSU Bulldogs lost to Louisiana Tech, who has former GT QB Taylor Bennett.  Bennett road the pine for 2 years behind Reggie Ball (yes, that Reggie Ball).  Tech put up 500 yards against MSU, a middle SEC team (yes, that SEC).  Clearly, the new 15 year ESPN-SEC deal has nothing to do with MSU?

Tech previously scheduled a bye week before the Duke game on October 4th to ensure at least one win under Paul Johnson.  He’s put it down, flipped it, and reversed it; Standing 3-1 going into the light part of the schedule until Clemson at Death Valley Oct. 18.

Occupying the emotional swings football brings during the off weekend will be Derrick Favors.  The basketball standout from South Atlanta will visit Tech for the second time this weekend.  If Favors chooses to play in the Thrillerdome, the 2009 recruiting class will be the second coming of the ‘93 Bulls.  The three-peat.

Homer #4: Beef & Charlie Chalupa

Darrius Heyward-Bey = the sexy.  If we were an NFL general manager, Heyward-Bey is the top wide receiver on our draft board.  He runs a 4.23 (true).  His hands are like glue (fact).  His vertical is 60 inches (slight exaggeration).  His dong is the size of a baseball bat (a hunch).  He is 6-3, 210lbs (6-5, 250 in real life).  We heard he can bench the Fridge…18 reps (false - no one can bench the Fridge).  He poops little gold nuggets (probably true).  He has never murdered anyone important (intentionally).  Dayday once threw a pass 75 yards in the air, caught it, juked 5 defenders with one move, lateraled to himself and then moonwalked into the endzone (he also threw a mean cut block on a D-end). 

Also, Beef and Charlie Chalupa attended Saturday’s blowout against Eastern Michigan.  Not much to say about this one except that Eastern Michigan should disband its program.  As far as we could tell there was no defense in this game.  946 total yards.  Many celebrities were in attendance, such as the greatest wrestler of our time.

Next week for the Terps:  Clemson. 

We have little reason to be optimistic in this one, as Clemson has a decided advantage in one very important category: kicker prestige.

Clemson has had two of the greatest kickers in NCAA history: this guy and this guy.

Meanwhile, the Terps kicker missed his first 5 field goals of the year.  Terps have no chance.

Homer #5: Krystal

After a tough loss to the Gators a couple weeks ago, I was mentally preparing myself for another disappointing season. I had the tissues in one hand and a handle in the other. And after A&M scored on the opening play and it seemed the D had missed the plane from Miami, my disappointment grew.

But Randy Shannon had me and the rest of the country fooled. On the next possession, Miami proved they could even hang with a school that hasn’t done anything significant in recent memory. 7 quick points on a Graig Cooper touchdown, and Miami was ready to play some ball.

The rest of the day reminded me of years past when the Hurricanes dominated games and had teams wishing they never got up that day. In a 41-23 win over Texas A&M, Miami showed that they have an offense with two possible QBs to carry us back up over the next couple years.

The U’s defense made some incredible plays. Despite giving up plenty of yardage, they got stops when it mattered. They only gave up 10 points in the first 3 quarters. In the third quarter, defensive lineman, Eric Moncur caught an interception that would increase the lead to 34-10.  I think the whole stadium went quiet with everyone thinking “who was that guy?” and “he can catch?” Honestly, he was probably thinking the same thing.

But, Miami still has a lot of work to do and needs some more experienced players to reach the place they belong. There were some rookie mistakes, especially after going up 43-10. We allowed their weak offense to score 13 more points. But I’ll take the win in Kyle Field any day. Because after the past couple years, I know how long a football season can be. So I’ll keep hoping and praying and have that handle ready. Saturday was just a little glimpse of what’s to come for this young team.

Next up: UNC in Miami. Bring it on Butch!

Homer #6: Ned Ryerson

Midway through the 3rd quarter of the Carolina-VA Tech game, we were going to the ACC championship game in Tampa. We were up 17-3 and fairly ineffective running back Greg Little had just ripped off a 50 yard TD run. We were good again. We were back to the #7 in the country, thumping VA Tech in the Gator Bowl, Mac Brown days of good Carolina football.

Then the sky caved in.

TJ Yates broke his ankle. Red-shirt freshman Mike Paulus came in and threw two interceptions, one at the VT two yard line as we were trying to tie the game. (Actual audio from my living room during the game, Me: “Now we just have to make sure Paulus doesn’t do something stupid like throw a pick.” Fiance: “Why would he do that?” Me: “Cause he’s a red-shirt freshman.” Two seconds later Paulus doesn’t see Shaun Draughn in the flat and forces one over the middle that your mom could have picked off.) Our defense that had looked so rock solid all day got down, tired, and then just beat up. We blew the lead in about 14 minutes. I’ve been a Carolina fan for 28 years and this was as bad as it gets. Even when we’re good, we’re bad.

Sorry for the lack of jokes, this s*** just ain’t that funny.

Homer #7: The Steve Smith

I’m not one to say, “I told you so”... no really, I told you. I told ALL of you. The Wolfpack did exactly what I said they would need to do to win the game. Steady improvement in the passing game. Check. Positive contributions from the kicking game. Check. Continue to play solid defense. Check. Beat ECU. Check. Go look at last week’s rant.

Harrison Beck update: He played, so naturally he threw an interception. It was returned for a touchdown, putting NC State down 7-0. Oh yeah, he also lost a fumble. So, Coach O’Brien, what I’m trying to say is: STOP PLAYING THIS KNUCKLEHEAD! Harrison, in the interest of not wasting anymore of your time, feel free to transfer somewhere you’ll play like Coastal Carolina or Western Carolina. For his career, he now has 4 TDs, and 13 interceptions. (2 tds each against powerhouses UCF and W&M).

Russell Wilson was huge on Saturday. He completed a high percentage of his passes (to EIGHT different receivers), protected the football, and made big plays that we haven’t made since #17 graduated. He tossed 3 TDs, including the game-tyer with 72 ticks left. The real difference maker was having a fresh defense late in the game. Consider NC State had 33 minutes of possession, in a game it trailed until the final play, was outrushed by 70 yards in regulation… it was two possessions inside the 5 that decided the game. On the first one, NC State made a goal-line stand and took possession-on-downs. The next time, ole Skippy took the FG. How different is the game if he takes the FG both times? State’s defense gave Tom O’Brien the chance to out-coach Skip Holtz, and he did.

Note: O’Brien is 3-0 against rivals ECU and UNC.

Looking ahead, NC State has a tough game with #13 South Florida, but they looked beatable against FIU. Following that, there aren’t any games the Pack can’t compete in.  BC, FSU, MD, and Duke are the next 4. Sitting at 2-2, with 5 winnable games looming before a tough home match with Wake. Then two tough games to close out with UNC and Miami. It’s not unreasonable to think, if Russell Wilson continues to play well, that the Pack can pull 3 wins out of the next 5, and then beat one of Wake, UNC, or Miami. Finish 6-6 overall, and 4-4 in conference. That would put the Pack back in a bowl. I realize it’s early to look that far ahead, but if the Pack continues to play as they did Saturday, you are looking at a 6-6 or 7-5 football team. If only we played Virginia this year.

Next-up: An Over-Rated team from the Big East, with a QB known on campus to be a jerk. You guessed it, USF. Prediction: Wolfpack 31 USF 28.

Homer #8: 46 East

Thank god for a bye week.  After Pilsner Pete was officially dismissed from the football team last week, I told a friend that the Hoos would finish 3-9 this year.  He laughed at me and asked me to point out the 2 more wins on the schedule.  I couldn’t. 

It’s gonna be a long year in C-ville, mostly because of how disappointed I am in my university.  The law decided that Lalich had done nothing wrong, but apparently whatever he had done was not enough to satisfy the administration.  Quite the paradox coming out Charlottesville these days.

Homer #9: Benny-Who!?!??

I didn’t get a chance to really watch the game.  Watching here and there, I was excited that we could make a comeback like we did.  It filled me with a sense of hope.  20 points means at least some offensive production, right.  Our defense stopped what last week was a rather explosive Tarheel offense. 

Then, I watched the game in its entirety (Thank you, DVR).  We would have never pulled another win out of our asses if not for penalties, injuries, and turnovers by North Carolina.  Make no questions about it, the Tarheels LOST that game.

I can’t wait to play UNC next year so that we can put yet another hurting on a Paulus.  (Warning Wahoos - basketball-related video)  We trampled that kid, and that should have been a safety.  I don’t know why nobody is bitching about that but me.  Don’t give me this forward progress business - he was dropping back in the pocket.

In other news, I ran into Eddie Royal and Carlton Powell, VT products now with the Broncos the Monday after the Furman game. I stopped to talk shop with them and asked about the ECU game.  As he shook his head in disgust, Eddie’s exact words were, “Man, that place just ain’t the same no mo’.”

It got me thinking as to what he meant by that.  I seem to think it meant something about Beamer’s organization - maybe how OC Stinespring has carte blanche with our offense.  It makes me sick, and apparently, Eddie was happy to get outta Blacksburg.

But after beating GT and UNC in consecutive weeks, I feel better than I did after week one.  Burning Tyrod’s redshirt did exactly what I predicted - made Glennon better.  Looking forward to Nebraska next week.  I’ll be at the game in Lincoln, so I hope to have some videos of Cornhusker country.

The ACC somewhat redeemed itself this week with the only loss coming from FSU who shat the bed against Wake.  Thank God UVA had a bye.

Homer #10: Erik the Red

Everyone knows the most overrated play in the history of football. That’s right folks … the touchdown.  That’s why the Demon Deacons saw fit not to bore the fans on Saturday.  By simply squandering every feasible opportunity they had of scoring six, the Deacs managed to escape Tallahassee with a 12-3 win, all while paying homage to baseball scores everywhere.  I mean, what’s sexier than scoring your points in groups of three.

Seriously, I would have poked myself in the eye three years ago if I was caught complaining about a win at Florida State.  Wake’s defense played like men possessed, forcing seven turnovers.  Alphonso Smith picks off passes as well as anyone in the country.  Aaron Curry is living up to the hype with a first team all-conference caliber season. Game ball definitely goes to the defense.  On the offensive end, not a lot to get excited about.  Running game still looks shaky.  Even Sam Swank booted three of his seven field goal attempts.

Florida State, on the other hand, proved that they aren’t quite top 25 material, despite outscoring their previous two opponents 115-7. It’s a sad day when you can’t count on wins over Western Carolina and Chattanooga as true tests of a team’s talent.  I’m sure the 79,235 on hand enjoyed another demonstration of quarterbacking excellence. D’Vontrey Richardson and Christian Ponder looked a lot more like the next Chris Rix than the next Charlie Ward.  Not a compliment.

Overall, many thanks to all the Penn State fans out there that sent good thoughts the Deacs way.  Now it’s time for a battle with a Navy team coming off a loss to Duke and a win against Rutgers … way to make UNC feel good about themselves.  Go Deacs!

Homer #11: _________

Do you know someone who went to Boston College? Because I don’t. If you, or someone you know, wants to be the BC Homer, e-mail thebaldspot@inrich.com

Homer #12: ________

Justifiably, even Duke grads admit they do not pay attention to football. I doubt anyone wants to read about Blue Devil football any more than anyone wants to write about it. So, we will spare everyone involved and hold this space open for b-ball season.