Addiction can do terrible things to a family.  I once was addicted to cigarettes.  No, I take that back I still am addicted to cigarettes; I just don’t smoke them anymore.  My family has always been like that; a sort of an all or nothing banner above our heads, no shades of grey, just black and white.  Are we drinking, smoking, gambling, playing computer games or are we not?  Notice none of the addictions in my family, are healthy, most are not. 
My Dad played cards for a living, my mother talks to her friends on the computer more then she talks to her own daughter, my brother drinks almost every night and I used to covet tar filled tubes.  I’m sure there is something wrong with the other two brothers, I just haven’t put a finger on it yet.  We are good people.  We are a normal family (somewhat).  We have our issues, so does everybody else.  Some people just don’t admit it and some don’t write about it in a blog.  The way I see it though you can’t fix what you don’t admit.

Addictions take people away from their families; there is just no getting around that.  From ducking out to take in a smoke to recovering from a massive hangover to logging in hours at the computer screen to weekly trips to the racetrack, they take you away.  What I want to say to my family, what I want to say to others is this, “It’s never too late to start over, and it’s always worth it.” 
My Dad died over fifteen years ago and I promise you this, when he knew he was going to die, he wished he would have lived.  I mean that with a nine month notice hanging over his head the thing he wanted to do more then anything was hang out with his family.  Nothing grandiose, nothing devious, nothing special just good old simple easy family time.  In the face of death, our addictions are simply a ridiculous waste of our precious time and in case you didn’t know it people, we are ALL facing death.  So, okay, Dad did ask for just one more trip to Atlantic City but old habits are hard to break and how more unlucky can you get then having cancer; I mean the odds were for him that he’d win big, but what was a thousand dollars to a man on his deathbed?
The thing is our time here on earth is limited.  We only have so much time to make great friends, cuddle with our babies, laugh at, I mean WITH, our teens and generally love those around us, none of which we can do well or fully under the haze of addiction which is like having a heartfelt conversation while watching Jerry Springer.  A little diluted and mostly muffled.
I miss the people in my life who are slaves to their addictions.  I understand it.  I’m just don’t enjoy being a part of it.
Besides how could I find the time, I am addicted to actually living my life instead of letting it slowly kill me…. and there’s nothing grey about that.