So it’s been weeks since I’ve been on-line but thanks to the wonder of modern living I purchased a computer today with no actual money and here I am on a state of the art computer though my bank account is still in the single digits.

I have missed blogging.  I never knew it could be so addictive.  Since I have started I have been called bitter, negative and I think someone once referred to me as “pathetic in my petty little world.“  Nonetheless…here I still am.  While I wasn’t on-line I missed writing because I didn’t do it.  The good thing about a blog is that for the undisciplined like me it keeps me writing daily and since I can’t afford a therapist here I sit typing. 
You may wonder why I don’t write daily of the joys of parenting.  Why I don’t recap the funny little quips that my five year old says throughout the day.  Why I don’t talk about the real conversations I have with my teenager. 

I may do so.  It may come out.  But those aren’t things I have to process and mostly blogging for me is processing; sometimes it’s venting.  Both are okay. 

I realized recently when talking to a friend of mine how much we try to hide how imperfect parenting can be.  We don’t want to be the only ones who can’t handle the baby’s crying.  We don’t want to be the only ones who want to tie their toddler’s ears in a bow when they ask us for the fifty millionth time when we can go to the pool.  We don’t want to admit that playing at Lego block building is just a major bore.  We don’t want others to know how our teenagers REALLY talk to us. 

We don’t want others to know in the same way that we don’t tell others that we are drowning in debt.  In the same way that we wear clothes we can’t afford.  In the same way that we keep secret the fact that we haven’t had a decent conversation with our significant others since the birth announcements went out. 

I don’t work like that.  If I don’t talk about it then it doesn’t get any better.  Like I said I bought a computer today and then paid for my groceries by turning in my change jar.  I’ve got some serious money issues people.  There I’ve said it out loud and thanks for listening, I am already on the path to recovery.  But truly, friends, I mean it…thanks for listening.