Dear Richmond Public Schools Food Services,

I don’t know quite how to tell you this but …it’s over.  Yes, I’m dumping you.  After more then 15 years together I have had it with your sugary ways, your mysterious meat products, your slimy eggs, your hockey-puck sausage.  I just can’t take it anymore and neither can the kids.

For years I paid good money for you to serve my kids crappy fried vegetables and every form of chicken known to a microwave.

Why?  Why I ask is it so hard to offer healthy choices?  Food Services, if you don’t change your ways I won’t be the only one dumping you.

The last straw came this month.  All along you have been whoring yourself out with your “free" breakfast for elementary students.  You call that free, my friend?  NO, NO, NO, that costs those kids.  It costs them their attention span, it costs them clean arteries, it costs them pounds at the waistline. 

Food Services, the day you can call a pop tart a main food choice is the day you and I have to part ways. 

And the shame of serving that garishly pink milk for breakfast. Shocking. Shameful.  Food Services, real milk is not pink.

That kids who don’t have breakfast at home should be subjected to your crap under the guise of helping, well… that I cannot take.  I want you to know I will always, always think ill of you as long as you consider a corndog one of the four food groups and funnel cake as a breakfast option. 

Until then, see ya Food Services.  I’ve found someone else and he’s mighty hot. He’s called brown paper bag and his insides have never seen the likes of you.

Sincerely,
Your ex