Your Life is Calling…It Wants You Back.
Becky Suder
Aug 27, 2008
And while I’m on the subject (in my head that is) what is this girls night out? I for one am sick of it, never again will I go out again and call it a girls night out. I will go out whenever I darn well please and I don’t even have to ask my husband to “babysit”. When my husband goes out for golf he doesn’t ask me for a male rendezvous which actually I’m glad about because I don’t like the sounds of it. I’m not saying we got to get all Thelma and Louise up in here but please ladies rouse yourselves a little and when you do please make sure you don’t spend the entire evening discussing your child’s or your husband’s pellet-like bowel movements. It’s not the stuff that memories are made of and at some point in your pre- child life you knew better.
I don’t know how it happens. One minute we are footloose and fancy free wearing cute heels or riding our bikes to work and bam wham no thanks man we have a kid and that person whose hair would fly in the wind, whose heels would click with her saucy walk whose opinion were vibrant, well informed and up to date is gone. What’s left but frumpy velour pants wearing women who are planning a month ahead to go to a wine tasting with the girls. That won’t happen to me. And you moms who are shopping at Blue Fly and look like a million bucks can’t fool me either. Just because you look good on the outside doesn’t always mean you have retained a shred of you. It is so not about looking young it’s about being the person you were before kids in addition to the person you are after kids. They ARE the same person; try not to forget it.
Why is it such a big to do for a mom to go off the diving board at the pool? BECAUSE NO MOMS EVER DO. Why did someone laugh when I was bodysurfing at the beach? BECAUSE MOMS DON’T BODY SURF, or maybe I was just really bad at it, the jury is still out on that one! WHY can’t I play Marco Polo or Sharks and Minnows or Laser Tag or ride a bike or go see a band oh that’s right because I handed in my living card the day I had my kids. They collected it after the birth, along with all that extra stomach skin. Thanks. Women your life is calling it wants you back. Dinner and a movie anyone?
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Are you travelling to your past-future? Going to AC on Saturday. Are you up for it?
margee of Gainesville
Aug. 28, 2008 at 10:09 PM
To the dude:
I hope she does make the jump to get back to herself and to get out- it will make her happier - which means happier kids, which means happier you- happier family. I made a conscious decision on my second child that I would NOT nitpick my husband to death about his care of the kids and so therefore I could go out guilt-free assuming that he was doing as good a job or better then I with the kids. Everyone is a WHOLE lot happier this time around. Besides the goal is to raise your kids into well-adjusted well-rounded happy human beings- they have to have examples of those around the house to recognize what it means ad nobody who spends twenty-four seven with the kids is going to be happy- nobody. Thanks for writing- I think all women who have spouses that read parenting blogs should be impressed- not too many do- including mine.
becky
Aug. 28, 2008 at 03:40 PM
aww, bex….that was so sweet of you. i sometimes feel as if i have lost myself along the way, you vknow how it gets. too much “them” time and not enough “me” time can just chip away at your sense of self. i am trying hard to maintain the real me so the kids will have ME as their mom and not some pale version of a stereotype, but it is hard.
it really helps to have friends that i can commiserate with…freinds who have already walked this road or who are right there in the trenches with me. you and mike have made alot of the same choices in raising your kids that tony and i have been making, and it is so great to see that we can succeed by doing things this way. your kids are happy, fun, intelligent and know they are well loved. your marriage is sound, you and mike still love each other, and prefer each other’s company and haven’t become one of those “50 at 30” couples that are rampant in these parts. and you have managed all of this while still being yourselves and not losing touch with friends and your own interests.
it really is remarkable and i hope that i can do it, too. but i do still need time out with my girls to talk shop now and then. just for the first 15 minutes or so. then it’s bottoms up and trash talking and rounds of hoops for me. :)
holly of rva
Aug. 27, 2008 at 12:16 PM
But Holly ...I think you still are you- you have your blog and photography and crafts and music. you’re not some parody of yourself you are just like the old you- minus a few nights out and a few less beers and your kids are so lucky to have the “real” you because you’re pretty special. Thanks for reading !
Becky Suder
Aug. 27, 2008 at 12:02 PM
Amen, and I’m a dad. I had this “discussion” w/ my stay-at-home mom/wife last night. I had something I wanted to do after work and wasn’t happy about it. She said she didn’t feel like she could do that, and I asked “why not?“ She didn’t have an answer, and then when I suggested her going out with friends, she said I didn’t understand and that was that. I want her to have a social life with grownups, whether that means while I’m at work or at nights or weekends, but she can’t make that jump.
23112
Aug. 27, 2008 at 09:27 AM
preach it, sister. your kids are big, so get back out there. me, i’m still in the throes of it all. two kids under four and a family supported by one income have me cornered away from the me of the past at the moment. and she may be cornered, but she sure is itching to burst out. but you….you have freedom now. two kids in school and one is almost a man. there is nothing holding you back now. bon voyage, old becky! happy travels into your past-future.
holly of rva
Aug. 27, 2008 at 09:12 AM
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